PAUSE to Connect and Build Relationships

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Online connections

As we move along the online teaching and learning continuum, we have begun to revise our approaches to meet the needs of students. Based on the student survey, some students expressed that they do miss their friends and teachers and would like to meet with them virtually. I helped arrange a meeting between grade 10 students and their teachers via Zoom. I quickly noticed that students were excited to see the familiar faces, and simultaneously, they also felt awkward to see their teachers and classmates after a week and a half. Students giggled and did not know how to interact in this virtual space. Almost all grade 10 teachers attended this meeting as they cared about students and wanted to check in and say hi. There was no specified agenda for this meeting.

Before starting our two-week Songkran (Thai New Year) break on Friday, April 3, I organized another meeting. It was a synchronous videoconferencing for participants to meet our grade 10 students and share their journeys of completing their personal projects. Prior to the meeting, grade 10 students brainstormed questions that different target audiences might ask, and they prepared their responses accordingly. I requested KIS community members to indicate their participation via a Google Form, and they also had an opportunity to ask questions in advance on the sign-up form. I consolidated all questions before the Zoom meeting and shared them with grade 10 students in advance. The videoconferencing was conducted very intentionally and anchored in a meaningful purpose. Grade 10 students signed up for the meeting voluntarily. They were coached on being a panellist and interacting with the audience in the virtual environment. I set up the logistics for the meeting and acted as the panel discussion moderator. Wow! It was a very productive gathering, and everyone felt energized after the session.

I reflected on both experiences and made an attempt to identify factors that contribute to productive and sustainable connections. Seth Godin’s blog post, The Conversation, was inspirational to me. To make the conversation better, he suggested some ideas. 

  • The most important: Only have a real-time meeting if it deserves to be a meeting.
  • People come to the meeting ready to have a conversation.
  • Part of being engaged means being prepared.
  • Organize a conversation.

A conversation involves listening and talking. A conversation involves a perception of openness and access and humanity on both sides.

(Seth Godin)

Priya Parker also emphasized the importance of anchoring the gathering with a meaningful purpose in her book, The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters. When there is no apparent reason why people come together, we are creating a gathering for nothing. ​

Why are students reluctant to talk online?

At first glance, online learning seems like a prime opportunity for students and teachers to build relationships, but students still feel hesitant about interacting in online classrooms. Students can be timid about leaving their comfort zones even when they’re taking group quizzes and posting comments on discussion forums. The reasons behind these hesitations vary from student to student—some are afraid of being judged by others, while others are worried that they won’t receive enough feedback from instructors. Whatever the reason may be, it’s important to remember that online interactions don’t have to mirror face-to-face interactions. By following some simple guidelines and strategies for online communication, teachers can build better relationships through online learning environments.

How do we intentionally build meaningful connections online with students?

How do we intentionally build meaningful connections online with students? This is an important thing to do when the school closure is extended. Imagine how weird and awkward that might be when teachers and students see each other again after a long separation. The synchronous meeting should not just be used for content delivery. We want to investigate how to build our learning community and enhance relationships via video conferencing.

I like to use acronyms to organize my thoughts. I decided to use PAUSE to rethink synchronous meetings and identify factors to build sustainable and meaningful connections that can engage and energize everyone. PAUSE also emphasizes the importance of allocating time to reconnect with each other. We are separated because physical distancing is currently necessary for everyone. However, there are different ways to connect emotionally and creatively in the virtual environment.  

Prepare students on how to interact in the virtual environment ​

Differing from face-to-face teaching, online learning necessitates different ways of behaving. Some students aren’t sure when and how to interact in a virtual classroom. It requires a different skill set for students to interact online, and we need to teach them how to participate in a synchronous meeting explicitly. Seth’s Godin suggested a simple 9 point checklist. We also created Google Meet Videoconferencing Student’s Guide to support our students’ online interaction. To ensure a productive and effective conversation, we need to prep. It will not work if we simply organize students to meet online in a chat room. As an online instructor, I want my students to be prepared on how to interact in a virtual environment. How do you prepare your online learners?

Anchor the gathering in a meaningful purpose

​Priya Parker justified the importance of extensively deciding a specific and meaningful purpose for a gathering in her book. Instead of saying we are meeting to check-in students’ progress, we can dig deeper and specify the purpose for students to share what has worked and what hasn’t worked in their home learning environment. Students who are interested in this topic can attend the meeting. The teacher should make it clear that attendance is optional but highly recommended. The teacher should also make it clear that they might not be able to answer all questions at that time, but will follow up with each student individually after class. This may be done through email or through another class activity such as an online discussion board. Anchor the gathering in a meaningful purpose : students need to understand why you want them to connect online before you ask them do so. It’s important for teachers to provide context about why online interactions matter and how these connections could be useful for both personal and professional reasons.

Specificity is a crucial ingredient. The more focused and particular a gathering is, the more narrowly it frames itself and the more passion it arouses.

(​Priya Parker)

Use a warm-up question to connect and listen attentively without judgements

We are humans but not robots. Rather than jumping right into the content teaching and being task-oriented, it is beneficial to do a grounding activity to warm up everyone’s “conversation muscle”. The inclusion activity will also allow us to get better to know each other. Unlike being at the school, it is more difficult for students to share their thoughts in the virtual environment where there is a lack of nonverbal communication. Students cannot easily share their favorite book or video game they currently enjoy during their breaks. Having a warm-up conversation also provides an opportunity for teachers to gain an insight into students’ lives and it is important to listen attentively to expand perspectives without making judgements. Using warm-up questions is inspired by Elizabeth Weingarten’s article, 20 questions to ask instead of “How are you doing right now?

Structure the time for an effective conversation and allocate a wrap-up session

Personally, I have very little tolerance when the meeting is not structured, and some people talk too much, and some do not talk at all. We finally get everyone’s attention and permission to be together. It is paramount we respect each other’s time and ensure the gathering experience is productive and energized for everyone. We will also want to avoid the meeting finishing without a conclusion. When facilitating a meeting, it is always a good idea to monitor the time and allocate a wrap-up session. Students/participants can identify actions they need to take or reflect on today’s meeting and share their biggest take-away in the wrap-up section. If the meeting is finished in a rush and students/participants do not have a chance to say a proper goodbye, I feel the meeting is less effective, and it feels incomplete.

Engage everyone and ask, “How can I help?” to signal you care and can offer support

Not everyone gets a chance to speak in class or a meeting. Isn’t it an opportunity that we can connect all students/participants via the videoconferencing tool? We can leverage the breakout room function and use protocols to facilitate conversations. Online learning tools allow teachers to include every student in ways that might be sometimes difficult in traditional classroom settings. We can use online tools like Jamboard, Padlet, Slido, Mentimeter, Blooket, or Kahoot! to help students communicate and build social interaction. Lastly, as James Ryan wrote in his book, Wait, What?, one important question to form the base of all good relationships is “How can I help?’ This question signals we care and are willing to offer support.

PAUSE to build sustainable connections

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Additional ideas

Check out the following posts for check-in ideas.

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