Reflect on 2021, Welcome 2022

Stressful 2021

2021 has been a very emotional year for me. I haven’t seen my family in Taiwan for almost two and a half years now and haven’t got a chance to hug my niece since she was born. I am very close to my family, and it has been incredibly challenging for me not to visit them. I know my frustrations and disappointments are shared with many people working overseas. I felt fortunate to see my US family this summer. However, it was not fun when we were rejected to board the plane in the airport back to Bangkok when documents entering Thailand were missing. I have never felt such a high level of stress in my life. I had no control over things. I could not rebook my flight and my quarantine hotel when my entry certificate was not approved. The waiting was unbearable. After receiving the COE (Certificate of Entry) to Thailand and confirming our flight and hotel, we had to get RT-PCR tests 72 hours before boarding. Finding a place for the PCR test in the US and getting the result back in time was not easy. We haven’t got all the results back a few hours before our flight. My body was trembling, and I found it difficult to breathe at times. Thanks to Google, I was able to find a clinic and got my family tested and received the results back within an hour, at a high cost. We made it to the airport just in time, and only after getting through the custom, I could begin to breathe better. It was a fight or flight situation. My heart was pounding fast. My head was hurting. My body was in pain. I felt I was losing control of everything in life.

We finished the 2020-2021 academic school year virtually. In responding to the ongoing pandemic and keeping everyone safe, we continued our remote teaching and learning model in August 2021. Students and teachers began to return to campus for hybrid teaching and learning after mid-October. We finally returned to school as a whole in November. With the spread of Omicron, uncertainty lays ahead of us.

I strongly desire to move back to Taiwan or somewhere closer to my family. I resigned from my job and began job searching. I have never thought of leaving my current school this early. I have enjoyed working with my colleagues, students and parents. The benefit of working at a small school is that we form an intimate community. Thinking of leaving has been emotional enough for me. Finding a new job adds another layer of anxiety and stress. It was a real kick in the guts when receiving a thank-you note after the final interview. The process of preparing interviews and being evaluated was nerve-racking. The waiting was especially miserable. I knew it was not about my ability, and the school needed to find a candidate that fits their context. But it was still no fun when being rejected. I did feel grateful that schools interviewed me and gave me opportunities to have conversations with them. I am very excited about my new school, but the process of sorting out paperwork to get a work visa is tedious. I feel anxious and worry that my paperwork won’t pass. But, there is nothing I can do about it. Whatever happens, I will accept it. I need to focus on what I can do instead of what I can’t do.

Practice Radical Acceptance 2022

My school best friend, Ana, gave me this book called Radical Acceptance, written by Tara Brach in October. She knew I was ready to read this book and get some ideas to embrace my vulnerability. When first reading it, mixed emotions arose, and I was tearful. It described my emotional states accurately and guided accepting fear and shame. The author did clarify common misunderstanding about Radical Acceptance. It’s not about accepting everything in our life. It’s about being present and paying attention to our moment-to-moment experience. It’s about becoming more aware of the intentions that motivate our behavior and the consequences of our actions. Radical Acceptance are grounded in clear seeing and compassion. The author mentioned that radical is a derived from the Latin word radix, meaning “going to the root or origin.” Radical Acceptance enables us to return to the root or origin of who we are, to the source of our being (Brach, 2003).

Without judging yourself, simply become aware of how you are relating to your body, emotions, thoughts and behaviors.

Tara Brach

Entering 2022, I am hopeful more love, trust, hope will come. Undoubtedly, there will be more things that we will have no control over. Instead of fixing or controlling things, we learn how to accept the situations and lean into our fears. We need to be kind to ourself and others, ‘see’ each other and build relationships. To maintain my mental health, I set a goal to practice radical acceptance more often in 2022! I made this graphic after reading the book twice. I am dedicating this poster to my dear friend, Ana. I would also like thank my friends who provided me with emotional support this year. I also want to display this on my wall as a reminder for my daily practice.

With clear comprehension, we see the potential suffering of angry, reactivity, and remain mindful of our interaction to benefit others.

Tara Brach

If anyone is also interested in practicing Radical Acceptance, feel free download the PDF file.